Loneliness in Leadership Isn’t Just Personal. It’s Structural.

There's a theme in my conversations with senior leaders, and it's loneliness.

Rarely mentioned in KPI reviews, but it's still there nonetheless. Leaders often bear the weight of decisions without a formal sounding board. They carry pressures that no one else sees and navigate systems that can be isolating by design.

When I'm brought in to support a CEO or executive, the brief often focuses on the individual: improve presence, sharpen influence, boost performance, help them be 'more strategic' - so they feel more connected to their peers and direct reports, and feel less isolated. Fair enough.

But that's never the whole story. Not ever.

Referring boards or more senior executives always miss something crucial. There is undoubtedly work for the individual to do on themselves and on clarifying their blind spots.

But often (make that always), what's really happening is tied to the system around them. How leadership is exercised, how decisions are made, and how boundaries are established within the organisation all shape the experience of that leader and how they will respond.

This is why it's essential to understand a concept that organisational leaders often overlook or are unfamiliar with: underbounded and overbounded systems.

As Kerry Little said in his 2016 LinkedIn article, quoting the late Clayton P. Alderfer, "It is useful to conceptualise leadership, in part, as boundary management."

Alderfer, an American psychologist and consultant, developed his organisational theory of underbounded and overbounded systems in the early 1980s.

In an underbounded organisation, there is too little structure, unclear authority, and blurred accountability. Leaders in these systems often feel pulled in too many directions, frequently lacking the backing or clarity they need.

In an overbounded organisation, the structures are rigid, the hierarchy is tight, and decisions are highly controlled. Leaders here often feel trapped, unable to move freely or express vulnerability.

Alderfer believed that neither extreme is healthy.

I'd add that leadership loneliness grows in both settings — but for different reasons.

The key is not just to support the individual, but to understand how they function within the system.

That's the heart of my work. A great leader in a poorly bounded system will still struggle. And they won't understand why they feel the way they do.

So, if you're feeling isolated, it may not be just about you. It could be a signal from the system you're operating in.

What might shift if we explored not just your strengths and gaps, but the system you're navigating?

And how might that help not just you, but the place in which you work?

Like all theories, Alderfer's won't explain everything about your scenario, but it might explain some aspects of it.

And that's worth examining.